The Opposite Sex and Other Extracurricular Activities at Workplace

Some successful executives have had horrible lives away from their places of business. Some, whose married or sex life has been unbearable, have immersed themselves in their work o-so their business success has been caused to a certain extent by their lack of success in other areas. Many have had wild and varied social activities; others talk a big game but spend every evening alone and always in the same dull way. Health is important to some; others seem to care little about their well-being.

Any of the top executives whose social life has been less than successful, however, have had other extraordinary abilities or assets. I must assume that you do not and that you also would like to be successful and enjoy your success.

1. The first activities we will examine are those with the opposite sex, especially in relation to the office.
   
2. Marriage follows logically-at least for discussion purposes.
   
   
   
3. Then we will look at how to spend your leisure time and how to take care of yourself physically and mentally.
   

You will notice as you read this article that whether the specific discussion concerns sex, marriage or leisure time the advice offered is similar. It would be an over-simplification to say that these areas are indivisible, but solutions to problems in each are closely related to those in the others. For, in truth-and this should not scare you off-the important goal of this article is the improvement of your emotional and physical health.

The man who marries the boss's daughter symbolizes some of the conflicting feelings in American life. He is envied by some and scorned by others; he is believed by many to have made an easier road for himself by marrying position, yet he is usually the first to disclaim advantage and, in fact, insist that his way is made harder, that he is constantly under attack to prove his ability. - W. Lloyd Warner and James Abegglen

I have always felt that I could get to know a man better if I knew his wife, went to the theatre with them, or to ball game, or the symphony. I have held firmly to the philosophy that it is possible to get to know a man better on the golf course or on a fishing stream than in almost any other way. - Robert L. Gordon

He who travels alone may travel farther and faster, as the Chinese say, but not with as much fun and pleasure as he who travels slower but with good companions. - Elmer Wheeler

Custom-built jobs to suit your wife are a rarity; it is much easier for her to learn how to fit in with the circumstances surrounding the job. - Richard P. Calhoon

Business does interfere with marriage. If it interferes too much in your case, you may care to consider whether it might involve less upheaval to get married to another com pany rather than to get divorced from your present wife. - Eric Webster

The young man who wants to marry happily should pick out a good mother and marry one of her daughters-anyone will do. - J. Ogden Armour

A smoothly working system may be fine for an office. It won't work for a marriage. The over-meticulous man who tries to formalize his relationship with his wife (everything on schedule, even sex; all differences and misunderstandings settled coldly and legalistically; no unpredictability; no emotion) will find that he has formalized his marriage into virtual non-existence. One evening when he comes home precisely on schedule, delivers the customary peck on the cheek and the customary mumbled greeting, and sits in the customary easy chair with the customary evening paper, waiting for the customary highball and the customary pipe and slippers, he may get, instead, a book thrown at his head. - Robert Collier Page

It is not marriage that fails; it is people that fail. All that marriage does is show people up. - Harry Emerson Fosdick

When you are at the top you're listened to so much by so many people, you risk losing an objective evaluation of your own ideas. . . . [the safeguard is] seeking experiences outside your company . . . where sometimes you're not the expert. - John W. Rollins

What we must do, however, at whatever cost, is to retain the flexibility of maturity. We must resist the pressing temptation to revenge ourselves on our own youth by assuming that all ideals are impractical, all dreams of Utopia absurd, all passionate convictions irrational. We need the young, if only as a contrast to ourselves. The more genuine the alter natives we provide, the more fruitful the relationship. - Alan Brien

Mental health rules:

1. Have a Hobby: Acquire pursuits which absorb your interest; sports and "nature" are best.
   
2. Develop a philosophy: Adapt yourself to social and spiritual surroundings.
   
3. Share your thoughts: Cultivate companionship in thought and in feeling. Confide, confess, consult.
   
4. Face your fears: Analyze them; daylight dismisses ghosts.
   
5. Balance fantasy with fact: Dream but also do; wish but build; imagine but ever face reality.
   
6. Beware alluring escapes: Alcohol, opiates and barbitals may prove faithless friends.
   
7. Exercise: Walk, swim, golf-muscles need activity.
   
8. Love, but love wisely: Sex is a flame which uncontrolled may scorch; properly guided, it will light the torch of eternity.
   
9. Don't become engulfed in a whirlpool of worries: Call early for help. The doctor is ready for your rescue.
   
10. Trust in time: Be patient and hopeful, time is a great therapist. - Dr. Joseph Fetterman
    

Leisure activities, in sharp distinction from labor or work, consist of those things that men do because they are desirable for their own sake. They are self-rewarding, not externally compensated, and they are freely engaged in. - Mortimer J. Adler

To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization. - Bertrand Russell

Canst thou not minister to a mind diseased, And with some sweet oblivious antidote Cleanse the stuff'd bosom of that perilous matter which weighs upon the heart? - Shakespeare

Fat bodies, lean brains! - Beaumont and Fletcher

Ideas to Remember

• Try to be discreet about your sexual activities.
  
• The executive who cannot adjust to middle-age may lose his executive ability.
  
• Using the opposite sex to advance your career has the same pit-falls as constant political maneuvering.
  
• A good family life helps your work.
  
• You and your family should have time to yourselves.
  
• Changing marriage partners never solves inner conflicts.
  
• Make certain that you have some leisure time and that you use it wisely.
  
• Leisure activities should contrast with your work.
  
• Have periodic physical check-ups.
  
• If you have a serious emotional problem, don't hesitate to seek professional help.