Once upon a time, a person writing a book about executive job hunting addressed it to males - there were few if any women in that part of the job market. This is no longer the case. Today, women hold all kinds of executive positions, and this will be increasingly so. Women executives operate under the same pressures and frustrations as men, and they also look for jobs.
And the stresses and strains job hunting lays on the family are similar whether a husband or a wife is looking. In the past, a wife's job was almost always in the home; she had no need to job hunt.
Her role was to support and aid the husband who searched. In some families now, those roles have switched. Moreover, a large number of women carry on jobs while raising a family without a husband around.
All this is introductory to a discussion of the family's role in job hunting. "Family" here can mean the nuclear-wife and husband, or those together with children. It can also mean a single parent and children - and there are more and more instances in which the single parent is a man.
The main point is that job hunting-by a wife, a husband, or a single parent - affects the family, and the family in turn affects the job hunter and the task.
What the family goes through
The loss of a job threatens a family's security and future, whether that job represents the sole source of income or not. It has an impact on a family's relations with friends and the community in general. And this condition prevails until a job hunt ends successfully.
For a two-income family the situation is not catastrophic, but it is tough nonetheless. For an indefinite period the family must cut back, but this is more easily stated than accomplished, especially if the family is bearing such heavy obligations as college tuition. For the single-income family, the situation might call for the other spouse to find employment temporarily-assuming the person has a marketable skill-with all the stresses and strains that entails.
A period of job searching is one in which the family must draw together, perhaps as never before, to support the person directly involved. And this refers to children as well as to husband and wife. Discussions should be open and candid, and all should be involved in decisions.
The wife
Let's talk about Mary McGuinn for awhile.
A short time ago, life seemed blissful - comparatively. Mary McGuinn's husband had a good job - he was a respected member of the community - and she enjoyed a positive identity. And now, through whatever quirk of fate, the picture has changed greatly. Her husband is without a job - and thus a great uncertainty has crept into her future. It may be months before he gets a new job - it may not pay as much or be as prestigious as the last one-the family may have to move to another area.
Little wonder Mary's apprehensive and frustrated, and she feels she's lost prestige. She's probably even downright mad! Why did this have to happen to her, and through no fault of her own? Particularly when she was on the brink of doing some things that she had worked hard for - an addition to the house, a really special vacation, doing something for the children she'd always wanted to.
But what has happened is a fact of life! And nothing Mary can do is going to change it. But more than any other person besides her husband, she can turn this adversity into something positive - something which three years from now will make the current period what it is: a temporary setback. After all, for an average man, for how much time out of a working career of 40-plus years is he likely to be out of work?
Besides, was the last job really that great? What about the time Mary's husband was ready for a big promotion and it went to somebody less qualified? Or the big project her husband worked hard on, only to have somebody else get the credit? Re member the long hours, the traveling, the small raise after such a long wait?
The loss of a job is devastating - but a lot worse things could have happened to Mary. The death or disablement of her husband, or the loss, disfigurement, or permanent incapacitation of a child. These are permanent - the loss of job is temporary. Not so many months ago Mary was proud of her husband's accomplishments and reputation. She thought nothing could raise doubts about them.
Well, there are still no real doubts. Those skills and fine qualities are still there, and they will undoubtedly be strengthened in the competitive process he's going through. He will emerge a bit scarred by his experience perhaps, but a wiser, more mature, and more realistic person - and that's to their mutual benefit in the highly competitive world we live in. Literally millions of successful people have been through a job hunt well along in their careers, and they have emerged stronger people because of it. And this process has affected people at all levels-no one is immune. Mary and her husband face frustrations and concerns common to millions.
Another thing; since Mary's husband started his career, there really hasn't been a practical opportunity to get out of the rat race. And this is doubly true when he was in a job that was going along pretty well. But Mary and her husband now have an opportunity to get out, if they choose, without the difficulty of having to make the decision to give up a good job. Regardless of what they do, they have the opportunity to take a good look at themselves and decide whether some of the "necessities" which have crept into their lives are really that important. It may mean, if the family chooses, a job with less pressure, a reasonably secure future, and more time together.
Most friends don't know what they can do to help - and yet they want to and will rally when called on. Further, Mary will be gratified by some of the things some will do spontaneously-often people whom she wouldn't expect to respond. This is real support - and if she does need help, most will react in a positive way.
