For her, it was both feminist pride and personal preference. Rather than join into what she called their "macho boys club," she refused all invitations to lunch or after-work drinks, telling her husband: "I'd rather eat lunch with a pig. You have no idea how gross those guys are."
It didn't take long for her co-workers to get the message. They might be gross, but they weren't stupid. To say she didn't "fit in" would be putting her case mildly. It was almost as if she didn't work there. During weekly staff meetings, all conversation would stop when she walked into the room. There were lots of occasional glances in her direction, but no one ever addressed her directly. And, when she did speak up, her comments would be met with complete silence. It was eerie and intimidating.
Yet she was an excellent sales rep and, much to her surprise, she had been turning in the best sales performance of her life. Her husband suspected that her desire to show her coworkers up was behind the achievement.
When word got out, funny things started to happen. A decision was made, for example, to reorganize sales territories. When the new assignments were handed out, she saw immediately that she had a smaller piece of the pie. When she complained to her sales manager, she was told: "You're not a team player. The better territories are reserved for the team players." She protested vehemently. Obviously, she'd already proved that she could handle a larger region. She'd earned and deserved a better assignment, not a smaller one. The manager was firm: "This is a company that values team play. We don't want to send a message that we value individual effort more than the group. You have to learn how to play on the team."
Rather than leave (which she surely would've been justified in doing), the sales rep decided to become more involved with her group. After all, she reasoned, there are going to be politics everywhere.
How did she do it?
She didn't turn herself into a cheerleader overnight - or ever. That would've been too much. Instead, she singled out the person who'd taken over a piece of her territory and made a good will gesture by inviting him to lunch to discuss some of the accounts. He looked surprised, but agreed. During the meeting, she was sincere and helpful. He seemed to appreciate her comments.
Over the next few weeks, she went out of her way to ask how he was doing with various accounts, and he gave her informal updates on his progress. At one point, he even asked her advice about dealing with one of her more loyal customers who were unhappy with the change of reps. She offered to make a sales call with him to help smooth the customer's anxieties. He accepted. The call went smoothly. Afterward, he bought her lunch and thanked her for her efforts. Away from the group, she found him perfectly acceptable and, at times, even nice. They'd never be close, but it was obvious they could work together.
Her efforts didn't go unnoticed by the rest of the team. Gradually, they started speaking to her more cordially: a simple "how are ya" in the morning without the usual bravado, an occasional sharing of information and, in general, a more relaxed atmosphere at office meetings. Unfortunately, the sales rep's strategy only half worked. In the process of gaining greater acceptance from team members, she lost some momentum. Her numbers never reached the same peak levels again. She can't figure out whether the problem is related to her territory or the fact that she lost her drive to show the guys up.
Office politics are about power and competition. Making them work for - rather than against - you takes a healthy dose of self-assertion and adaptability. When German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said, "Join power with love," he wasn't talking about sleeping your way to the top. He meant using power to do good. Rather than eschew power (because you associate it with violence), you should seek it out and embrace it. After all, isn't it better for someone like you to have the power to do good? Or would you rather leave it in the hands of all those greedy, unethical people you detest? Just because you dislike the connivers' methods doesn't mean you have to let them win.
