If you wait them out, some work situations do improve. But it depends on how or why they got worse.
Nine years ago, a human resources generalist joined a major healthcare corporation. Six months later, she was involved in her first reorganization. Although she survived with her job intact, her workload virtually doubled overnight. "Don't worry," her manager told her. "Things will get better."
That was more than eight years ago. Since then, she's been through five different restructurings. Whenever she wasn't personally affected, she was laying others off.
She just can't get excited about these changes anymore. She's heard lies too many times. Still, she's reluctant to leave. She has nine years in - long enough to know her way around the system and feel comfortable with lots of people. Besides, she's still convinced she can find a safe part of the company that won't be restructured.
Some people have trouble learning from experience, I guess.
Lie 2. It's My Fault I'm Not Happy
Blaming yourself for not liking your job won't solve any problems. If you want to take more responsibility for your happiness, you need to think in terms of "mismatch," not faultfinding. Trying to understand why your job, company or field doesn't suit your needs will help you redirect your energies toward creating a better match.
For example, a social worker found the family counseling center she worked at too much like a dysfunctional family, with everyone over-involved in everyone else's business. While most of her co-workers loved the "family feeling" of the place, she felt guilty for wanting an atmosphere that encouraged more professionalism and greater independence. Eventually, she came to realize that leaving the agency was like growing up and leaving home. At a certain time in life, it's definitely the right thing to do. Once she figured that out, she knew it would be crazy to stay.
You can come up with a million (untrue) reasons why you can't leave a situation you dislike. But when you deny reality (or the depth of your unhappiness), it has a way of catching up with you. If you do nothing to remedy the situation you hate, there's a good chance you'll end up being terminated. You may try to hide your feelings from co-workers, but negativity has a way of seeping out when you least expect it. Most of us don't have very good poker faces.
This is exactly what happened to a sales rep with an aluminum siding company who wanted to work in a more glamorous industry. While he vacillated about whether to stay or to go, he stopped paying enough attention to his numbers. They dipped way below quota, and before he realized what was happening, he had three months of severance pay and carte blanche to find something that suited him better.
Likewise, an office manager was so bored with performing the same old duties day in and day out that she could barely manage to drag herself to the office in the morning, and never before 9:30. From there, it was a short step to long lunch hours and even longer weekends. Only a Neanderthal could have missed her lack of motivation. Like the sales rep, she got her walking papers along with three months' pay to figure out what she wanted to do next.
Thought-Starter Worksheet
- Have you ever quit a job? Or left a relationship?
- How did it make you feel to say goodbye? Were you sad? Guilt-ridden? Angry? Relieved?
- How long did it take you to make the decision to leave?
- Was there a "straw that broke the camel's back"? If so, what was it?
- Are you sorry that you didn't leave sooner? If so, what stopped you?
- Do you wish that you'd waited longer? If so, why didn't you?
- Have you ever regretted a leave-taking? If so, what would you do differently?
- What is the scariest part of being unemployed?
- How realistic are your fears?
- Do you ever fantasize about leaving your current job?
- What does your fantasy look like? How do you leave? Where do you go?
- Have you ever burned any bridges on your way out the door?
- How can you prevent yourself from burning any bridges now?
- What do you see as the greatest obstacle to leaving a job you dislike?
- How do you plan to negotiate that obstacle?
- Before you make the decision to leave, are you sure that you've done everything in your power to fix your current situation?
- If you're committed to leaving, how do you plan to support yourself during the transition?
- How long can you afford to be unemployed?
- Do you have a plan to bring in extra income? If not, can you think of how your skills might translate into temporary or freelance work?
- If you'd never leave a job without having another one lined up, how do you plan to carve out enough free time to job search?
- Is there any danger that your employer might find out you have looking?
- What do you think your employer will do if he or she discovers you're job hunting?
- Does this scare you?
- Do you consider leaving an act of disloyalty? If so, would your employer show the same respect and loyalty to you?
- Being completely honest with yourself, would it be better for you to stay where you are or seek out a new position?
- Are you acting in your own best interests?
