Don't expect to hold on to the way things have worked for you in the past. Get on with the new way the world is operating. You cannot stop the changes, but you can choose the way you will respond. You can see change as a threat to resist or an opportunity to move forward.
Change represents danger to you when you choose to resist it. While your energy goes into trying to keep your situation the same, you will become more dissatisfied as you see others taking advantage of changes.
You can use change to your advantage if you decide to see it as a source of opportunity. Then, it won't be so threatening. You will reduce your chances of being run over. You will be running your own life.
To look at change as a source of opportunity, become more aware of the changes taking place around you the events that can affect you and your job. Decide which are best for you and how to take advantage of those that interest you. The pace of change in today's economy can be overwhelming unless you can assess changes more objectively. In doing so, you will have more control over the way you respond.
How can you make the most of changes? How can you decide which ones bode well for you and which ones bode ill? You need a stable, internal point of reference a clear picture of what you need to feel satisfied with your job and with your life. You can measure a changing situation against your list of the elements you require, to decide if a change is in your favor or not. You can perhaps alter the situation to suit you, or to get out of there at the earliest point.
To feel in control and actually to be in control of your life, make choices based on your inner direction. With so many changes swirling around, the only stabilizing point must be inside of you. Nothing outside can be your anchor.
A CAREER COUNSELOR CANNOT DECIDE FOR YOU
Let's be practical about it: a career counselor cannot possibly know all the options out there for you. There are so many choices and the world is changing so fast, how could one person know the answer that is right for you? And when things change again, as they will, will you expect a career counselor to tell you what to do then?
What you do with your life is your decision. A counselor cannot decide for you, but can only help you decide.
Blaming someone else for your lack of progress can be a reflection of your attitude about life. Do you basically feel you control what happens to you? Or do you feel what happens is essentially in the hands of others? When you blame others, you give up your power. You are saying that someone else is deciding what will happen to you. When you do not blame others, you have more power: you are taking control over your own life.
Those who take responsibility for their own lives do better than those who expect others to solve their problems.
Accepting responsibility means, generally, not blaming others for your situation. You accept that your choices have gotten you where you are. You are in control. You can make new choices to head your life where you want.
WHY USE A CAREER COACH?
In this changing marketplace, increasingly we all have to be out there selling ourselves. This is causing people a great deal of understandable stress. Most of us would rather just do our jobs and trust that we will be treated fairly. Since we cannot depend on this, some people have made a career coach a normal part of their lives as normal as having a regular tune up on your car or an annual physical. They go to their coach not only when they are conducting a job search or when they have problems, but perhaps once or twice a year for a checkup.
Clients working with a career coach learn what works for them personally and what does not, come to better understand the kinds of environments they should be working in (bosses, corporate cultures, pace, and so on), learn how to be more effective in their work relationships (bosses, peers, subordinates, clients), learn how to balance their lives more effectively, and also lay the groundwork for the next career move they may have to make. They talk about their long term career goals and the steps they need to take to reach them or perhaps simply to stay even. They make sure they are doing what they must to develop their careers as the economy changes, such as getting specific experience, taking courses, or joining organizations.
Over time, your coach gets to know you, just as your family doctor gets to know you, and can warn you against things that may cause you problems, or advise you about things you could be doing next. Just as a family doctor would want to give you a complete physical if you are to become his patient, so, too, your coach would want to give you an assessment to find out as much as possible about you. I tell clients that if I don't know enough about them, it is as if they were someone on the street coming up to me to ask advice. I need to know something about them so I can be a real coach.
If you decide to use a private coach, use someone who charges by the hour. Do not pay a huge up front fee. After you have worked with the counselor a number of times, assess your relationship with that person. There should be a good personality fit between you and your counselor. For example, some counselors are very intense, while others have a softer approach. If the relationship is not good, or if the meetings damage your self worth, go to someone else.
For your part, make sure you are willing to make the necessary commitment. If you go only for one hour to have the counselor handle an emergency you are facing, do not expect that counselor to come to know very much about you. If you decide to use a counselor, you are likely to learn more about the wonderful person you are, so you can figure out how you fit into this changing world. You will have increased self esteem and increased effectiveness.
